Buddha Espresso: Not so enlightening.

It's difficult, sometimes, being a fledgling, up-and-coming coffee reviewer in Perth's CBD. The abundance of choices within close proximity of each other renders competition to attract the precious hard-earned dollars of caffiene-addicted workers, shoppers and coffee-snobs heated.

With a hefty name, a sturdy reputation and girthy presence in Allendale square, Buddha Espresso was in the reviewer's crosshairs today to see whether they could enter the upper-echelon of double-espresso creators in Perth.

Somewhat ironically, the double espresso this reviewer consumed left me somewhat 'unenlightened' and relatively 'unawakened'. Uninspiring, weak and bland wouldn't be an unfair assessment of either Shane Watson's performance at the top of the Australian batting order, or this coffee. Even after referral to the third umpire, the Danny Review System upheld the reviewers initial decision.

If Buddha Espresso was vying for a position in Perth CBDs Top X1, they'd be in for a rude shock as they are going to have to work their way back through the Sunday amateurs.

11 disgruntled and cantankerous Boof-Lehmann's out of a possible 20. I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel. I'm cold and I'm ashamed, lying naked on the floor.